Bawling through a book...

This might be my first "non-picture" post ever...but I think it is worth it.  Growing up my mom always read christian fiction novels and she would try to get me to read them.  I always told her I thought they were dorky, not historical enough, not deep enough, etc.  Well through the years I've read some here and there and some were REALLY good...a fact which my mom does not like to let me live down.  Fast forward to this summer, where sometimes I read out loud while I'm nursing Brynn.  Well, my mom always talks about Karen Kingsbury books and I finally decided I'd read the first series.  I'm on the fourth book, and I have to admit, they are better than I thought.  I can read one, read something else, read the next one, etc.  Well, I"m on the fourth one and it is called "Rejoice."  Today I was reading it and I started bawling!  HAHA!  Basically, these books are about a family and they have five grown children, four girls and a boy.  The son was getting married and the mom was kind of sad, knowing he was moving away, etc.  So...she writes her son this poem the night before his wedding.  She was telling her husband that their family always commemorates "firsts" (first smile, first tooth, etc.) but they never celebrate the "lasts"...partly because you never really knew it was the last time you were going to do something.  It will probably make more sense if you just read this poem.  It is kind of long, but I'd grab a tissue!  I found it online so I wouldn't have to type the whole thing.  She changed a few of the words and made it into a children's book called "Let Me Hold You Longer."  Anyway - these are the words in the book, but they are almost identical to the words in the poem in the book. 


Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts,
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts…
The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip.
The last night when you woke up crying,
needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket,
wanting to be rocked.
The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you’d marry
me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I’d known they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
faded baseball cap.
Your last few hours of kindergarten,
those last few days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League,
last colored picture made.
I never said good-bye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?
The last time that you catch a frog
in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot
across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly, scattered images
will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures,
never quite sure of your lasts…
The last time that I comb your hair
or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
and tuck you in at night.
The last time when we cuddle
with a book, just me and you
The last time you jump in our bed
and sleep between us two.
The last piano lesson,
last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school,
last soccer goal you make.
I look ahead and dream of days
that haven’t come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
today’s sweet, precious lasts…
The last time that I help you with
a math or spelling test.
The last time when I shout that yes,
your room is still a mess.
The last time that you need me for
a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
with your old tattered bear.
My life keeps moving faster,
stealing precious days that pass,
I want to hold on longer-
want to recognize your lasts…
The last time that you need my help
with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for
advice about romance.
The last time that you talk to me
about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey
for your high school team.
I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed
seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time,
I’d hold on to your lasts.
For come some bright fall morning,
you’ll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.
One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you’ll be missed.
I’ll watch you leave and think how fast
our time together passed.
Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.